On Drinking
Learn to appreciate hangovers. If it was all good times every jackass would be doing it.
It’s okay to drink alone.
If you think you might be slurring a little, then you are slurring a lot. If you think you are slurring a lot, then you are not speaking English.
If there is ever any confusion, the fuller beer is yours.
A flask engraved with a personal message is one of the best gifts you can ever give. And make sure there’s something in it. — Thanks Jennifer!